solitude

Harsh words
Wicked blows
Dark secrets
No one knows
Eyes are open
Hands are fisted
Deep inside, Im wound and twisted

So many tricks
So many lies
Too many whens
And too many whys
No ones special
No ones gifted
Im just me
Wound and twisted

The girl who knew me too much

People change
They betray
When hearts break
Why do we pray?

Miles away from i stand
bin a while since you left
but the wounds
oh the wounds are still fresh

opened my heart to you
and look what you did
why did you grow apart
it made me look so stupid

i saw through you
knew you wanted to leave
why did i try so hard?
why did i still believe?

Where were you?

Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came

The White Tiger - My take

A lowly villager called Balram Halwai rises in the ranks when he becomes a chauffeur in an affluent family in the big city of Delhi. Nothing that goes on around him -- be it politics or family feuds -- escapes his eye, even as he feigns to be a meek servant. As the novel progresses, the homicidal chauffeur makes his own destiny, and becomes an entrepreneur.

The White Tiger tells the story of a side of India that we are all aware of, but we choose not to acknowledge or dwell upon it. We ignore it and move ahead with our lives. But this masterpiece from Man Booker-prize (2008) Winner, Aravind Adiga forces you to pay attention and ponder.

The theme of the book is sarcastic and aggressive. It is written in a series of letters to a Chinese leader who is about to visit India. The protagonist, Balram Halwai, is your run-of-the-mill, average villager who aspires to work in a big city some day and make it big in life. It portrays a tale of two India’s – An India which is “shining”: where wealth is flaunted extraordinarily and an India in “darkness”: where hundreds are faced everyday with the question of where would there next meal come from? The White Tiger is a penetrating piece of social commentary, attuned to the inequalities that persist despite India’s new prosperity.

Balram describes himself as a “half-baked” Indian, who worships uncountable number of gods and is proud of the way he “struggles” to become a successful entrepreneur. He works in a tea-shop where he comes to terms with how the world treats the poor. He is hired as chauffeur by a rich, affluent family. His three masters treat him disdainfully, yet he respects them for they are his employers. He observes how his master bribes the politicians, how he commands respect from all his minions and how everyone in this country dances to the tune of money. Balram decides to slay his master and runs off to a far-away city, Bangalore, where he becomes an entrepreneur. Balram justifies his employer’s murder as an act of class warfare. There is much talk in this novel of revolution and insurrection.

Adiga’s message isn’t subtle or novel, but Balram’s appealingly sardonic voice and acute observations of the social order are both winning and unsettling.

Balram’s violent bid for freedom is shocking. What, we’re left to ask, does it make him -- just another thug in India’s urban jungle or a revolutionary and idealist? It’s a sign of this book’s quality, as well as of its moral seriousness, that it keeps you guessing to the final page and beyond.

Show me how to live..

Living in the past never helps.. but it sure is comforting when your present is not what you wanted it to be..

But at the end of it all, life teaches you, that it is meant to be lived in the present.. the essence of life is realized when you go with the flow.. not clinging on to a past memory..

So how difficult is it? To forget and move on.. to let things pan out on themselves? Do what you have in hand, bond with those around you, and build new friendships, new relationships.

You would like to believe what you had was all you wanted from life, and in the process, this veil of past never allows you to cherish and appreciate what you have ahead of you.

At the end of it all, life comes a full circle, your present becomes your past.. and this vicious circle of living in the past never ends..

Reminds me of the Audioslave song.. Show me how to live!