denial

You.

i cant think of anyone but you. why ? i dont know. but its you and only you. Coherence falls to its knees with the effort to describe it. but ur like magic. you do something to me . no its not love. im too cynical for love. no its not lust. im too scared of lust. but something.

something

I dont know but i know. i smile when i cry and i laugh when im angry. you? i dont like u per se. i like whats in u. the difference. a dark lost fairy around mere mortals and ur floundering to keep urself intact. u dont know whether to reach out or to run into yourself. this is not an ode because i dont love u.

but ur like magic. and u dont believe me because u say that u dont believe in magic. u liar. Because u believe in it with all ur heart which u keep locked away. and now i see it .and now i know it. and ur scared coz its out. and i can see it clearly . now what will do? what will you do? what will u have me do?

but i dont love you because i am too cynical for love and too fearful of lust. love is not the magic. the magic is you and thats when Coherence weeps for me to stop . my head hurts coz of this nonsense. nonsense?! NONSENSE. im so strange im in love with a dark angel. oh god, oh no... i said im in Love..

No......

the nest

I have set the bird free,
free to fly away
for as long as she wants,
to as far as she wishes,
to make new beginnings,
to explore new horizons.

for i know,
the nest is where she'll come,
for that is where she belongs.

the lament

the lament of lost love, the repentance of them placing someone else before you..
you.. who had built a small world all around them.. who was content, with life and with the world,
you, who had learnt and taught, kissed and fought,
you, who stayed up several nights just to know their most irrelevant and whimsical of thoughts,
you, who thought knew them the way only you could,
you, who after everything, pretend to have recovered, only to realize that it has gotten worse,
you, who had believed love is eternal, unconditional, can only now call it superficial,
you, who had burnt every memory, every memoir, every little evidence of their existence, except for that one little thing, which you might never be able to let go of, no matter how much it hurts to seeing it lying there, staring at you, haunting you with past moments...
you, who would have ben by their side, all they had to do was call

shine on you crazy diamond

Here is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others...

to let go

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to criticize, or regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can do.
To let go is to fear less, and to love more.